Suck – Golfing Agency https://golfingagency.com Golf news & updates Sun, 06 Nov 2022 05:02:44 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 https://golfingagency.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/cropped-GA_favicon-32x32.png Suck – Golfing Agency https://golfingagency.com 32 32 75 Hilarious Golf Puns and One-Liners That Don’t Suck https://golfingagency.com/75-hilarious-golf-puns-and-one-liners-that-dont-suck/ Sun, 06 Nov 2022 05:02:44 +0000 https://golfingagency.com/75-hilarious-golf-puns-and-one-liners-that-dont-suck/
75 Hilarious Golf Puns and One-Liners That Don’t Suck

Have you ever noticed that life just seems to get too serious? Whether it’s work stress, career problems, or a global pandemic, there’s always something trying to steal your joy!

One way to fight against life’s problems is to learn how to laugh in the midst of them. Lots of studies show the health benefits of laughter. These golf puns and one-liners will putt a smile on your face (see what we did there?!)

1. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one!

2. You made an 11 on a Par 3 hole? How the heck did that happen?

I chipped in from the rough!

3. Why don’t golfers ever eat pie?

Just in case they get a slice!

4. How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fore!

5. What did the driver yell at the golf cart that cut him off?

Kiss my putt!

6. The only thing that causes more cheating than golf is income taxes.

7. What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?

Fore-Get Me Nots

8. What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?

The Bogeyman

9. What is a golfer’s favorite bird?

Any birdie they can find

10. A player asked his golf coach: “What is going wrong with my game?”

The coach replied, “You’re standing too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.”

11. When is it too wet to play golf?

When your golf cart capsizes

12. Golf is what you play when you’re too out of shape to play baseball.

13. Did you hear about the two guys that met at a golf course?

It was the beginning of a beautiful friend-chip!

14. What’s the easiest shot in golf?

Your fourth putt

15. There are three ways to improve your golf game: 

take lessons, practice constantly, or… start cheating!

16. Where can you find 100 doctors all at the same place on any given day?

A golf course

17. What’s the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?

When a golfer lies he doesn’t have to bring anything home to prove it.

18. If you golf on an election day, make sure to cast an absent-tee-ballot.

19. Golf balls are like eggs.

They’re white, sold by the dozen, and after a week you need to buy some more!

20. Are you a scratch golfer?

I sure am. Every time I hit the ball I scratch my head and wonder where the heck it went.

21. Why is golf called golf?

Because F&*% was already taken!

22. Do you know how the moon got craters?

Three Words: Chuck Norris Golf

23. Golfer: “I think I’ll go drown myself in that lake.”

Caddie: “I don’t think you’ll keep your head down long enough.”

24. Golf is a lot like taxes…you go for the green and come out in the hole!

25. It takes a serious amount of balls to golf like I do.

26. If your opponent can’t remember if he shot a six or a seven on a hole, chances are he had an eight on it.

27. I shot one under at golf today.

One under a tree, one under a bush, and one under the water

28. Bad at golf?

Join the club.

29. I’m not really that bad at putting, I just can’t catch a break!

30. What does a golfer love to hear from his wife?

Talk birdie to me!

31. I only hit two good balls today…when I stood on a rake!

32. Man, that dwarf is good at putting and chipping. His short game is at a different level!

33. The man who takes up golf to get his mind off work will soon take up work to get his mind off golf.

34. Golf was once a rich man’s sport but now it has millions of poor players!

35. Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?

Clubbing

36. I once played a course that was so tough, I lost two balls in the ball washer!

37. Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?

He was perfecting his swing!

38. Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles!

39. The secret of playing good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight, and not too often!

40. I’m so bad at golf that I have to go get my ball retriever regripped more often than my clubs.

41. The higher a golfer’s handicap, the higher the chance of him telling you what you’re doing wrong!

42. Many golfers prefer a cart instead of a caddy because a cart cannot count, criticize, or laugh!

43. Golfer: I would move heaven and earth to get a birdie today.

Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth today.

44. The best person to play golf with is someone who always plays a little bit worse than you do.

45. Golf is the only game where the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie well.

46. In golf, the slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you!

47. There’s no game like golf. 

You go out with three friends, play 18 holes, then come back with three enemies!

48. Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?

He was puttering around.

49. Golf: a 5-mile walk punctuated with disappointments.

50. Golf is harder than baseball because in golf you have to play your foul balls.

51. I wish I could play my normal game…Just once!

52. The term “mulligan” is really a contraction of the phrase “maul-it-again.”

53. I play in the low 80’s. If it’s any hotter than that, I won’t play.

54. Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won’t work… and both are expensive.

55. The best wood in most golfer’s bags is the pencil.

56. Where do ghouls and ghosts play their golf?

On a golf corpse.

57. What do golfers do on their days off?

Putter around.

58. What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars?

Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.

59. Why do golf announcers whisper?

Because they don’t want to wake up the people watching.

60. Which actress is incredible at golf?

Minnie Driver.

61. What did the sign above the golf club bar say?

“Don’t drink and drive. Don’t even putt.”

62. What do you call a really friendly golfer?

A social putterfly.

63. Golf is a game invented by God to punish people who retire early. 

64. What do you call a monkey who wins the Masters?

The chimpion!

65. What are the primary components of a golfer’s diet?

A lot of greens and water.

66. In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers… 

They shoot a “six”, yell “fore” and write “five”.

67. To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.

68. Practice Tee: A place where golfers go to convert a nasty hook into a wicked slice

69. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.

70. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

71. An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice … 

Once before swinging, and once again, after swinging.

72. In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.

73. What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?

The Bogey.

74. “You’re late on the tee, John.”

“Yes, well, it being a Sunday, I had to toss a coin to see if I should go to church or go and play golf.”

“Okay, but why are you so late?”

“I had to toss it 15 times!”

75. A golfer standing at a tee overlooking a river sees a couple of fishermen and says to his partner, 

“Look at those two idiots fishing in the rain.”

Mike Noblin

Mike has been involved with sports for over 30 years. He’s been an avid golfer for more than 10 years and is obsessed with watching the Golf Channel and taking notes on a daily basis. He also holds a degree in Sports Psychology.



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10 Simple Reasons Why You Might Still Suck at Golf https://golfingagency.com/10-simple-reasons-why-you-might-still-suck-at-golf/ https://golfingagency.com/10-simple-reasons-why-you-might-still-suck-at-golf/#respond Sat, 29 Oct 2022 03:02:43 +0000 https://golfingagency.com/10-simple-reasons-why-you-might-still-suck-at-golf/
10 Simple Reasons Why You Might Still Suck at Golf

In the summer of 2006-07, I played off a 6-handicap. I played and practiced consistently, and then winter arrived, which was also rugby season.

I didn’t touch a golf club for 4-months, and in my first round back, I lost a matchplay-Stableford game against a 24-handicapper. I could not hit a ball and asked myself why I suck at golf?

The answer was a combination of factors. I neglected the game and stopped practicing. In addition, I was stressed and anxious about my final high school exams. In this post, I will explain why this wondrous game is not going your way.

 

1. You’ve Never Had a Lesson

The top reason why many amateurs downright suck at golf is that they never received the correct guidance. It is common for players to take up the game because their buddies play. Unfortunately, many of their friends are as clueless as them and have no business instructing others.

This causes rookies to pick up bad habits from the get-go and results in consistently bad shots and frustration. Rather than chase your tail, book a lesson with a PGA-certified instructor to avoid common mistakes. It also makes sense to do it right rather than play the game for years and never progress.

Coaching teaches you to correct mistakes in your golf shots on your own accord. This takes time, and it is why lessons are an investment.

Think of it like school. You cannot become a lawyer or doctor without going to college. Well, you cannot reach the ranks of a scratch golfer if you do not have the guidance of professionals.

 

2. You Never Visit The Driving Range

If you have received lessons in your life but still struggle to play golf, you may lack practice. This game is not like riding a bike. When you stop swinging a club and putting in the time, the results are disastrous upon return. An area I am well-versed in.

You need to consistently work on every element of your game to see improvement. I understand that most of our readers are busy professionals who lack time to sneak in an hour or 2 practice session. However, you need to make time if you wish to lower your total strokes.

Those with limited time may consider a golf simulator. This setup allows you to work on your ball-striking consistency after work from the comfort of your home. The point is that no matter where you are, you need to consistently practice to see results.

how accurate are golf simulators

 

3. Your Practice Sessions Have No Purpose

Besides practicing, you need to do it with a purpose. I recently spoke to Scottish golf coach Peter Arnott about practicing with intent and how that sets Tiger Woods apart from the rest of his peers.

Instead of aimlessly hitting golf balls, Tiger would look to replicate scenarios he may encounter on the golf course. Arnott explained that Woods would pull out a rangefinder, pick his mark and then play different shots to get the ball to that exact point.

For example, he would picture a tree in front of him and draw the ball within a few feet of the desired target. Conversely, he would practice fades, stingers, and punches to prepare for any shot necessary.

This story is relevant to you because most amateurs do not have a goal when conducting a drill at the range. This means that they walk away from the practice session unaware of whether they have improved and were able to achieve their objective.

Work on specifics. A simple start could be to hit 60% of your shots straight. Focus on squaring your club face up at impact to deliver straighter shots. If you do not achieve your objective, conduct a debrief to understand the errors.

4. You’re Using The Wrong Equipment

A major issue that I find with amateurs who have never been coached is their golf clubs. Because they never received the guidance of an expert, they are swinging the incorrect specs.

I often notice casual golfers using shafts too stiff and heavy for their swing. This reduces their clubhead speed and causes low ball flight and a loss of distance.

Conversely, faster swingers use shafts that are too flexible. As a result, these golfers consistently balloon their shots and lose distance through the bag.

Aside from shaft flex and weight, lofts are a sore point for casual golfers. If you are swinging a weak lofted club for your swing, you may launch it high and lose total distance. Contrarily, slower swing speeds are best suited to weaker lofted long irons and woods. These players need all the ball speed and available spin to achieve consistency in this area.

Golf influencers are divided on the value offered by club fitters. However, I suggest getting fitted for your first clubs. This is because you are likely clueless about the ideal specs for your game, and you do not want to waste money on the wrong gear.

Club fitters will set you up on a launch monitor and analyze every element of your swing to find suitable woods, irons, wedges, and a putter.

 

5. Your Grip Is Incorrect

I have spoken frequently about the need to consistently work on your game to stay on the fairway. Now, let us look at your actual setup and swing. The way you grip a golf club impacts your control. If your grip is too tight, it often prompts golfers to strike the ball with a closed clubface, leading to a hooked golf shot.

Conversely, a weak grip can cause your clubface to open at contact, prompting a slice. If this is your issue, our guide on 8 simple steps to a better golf grip will provide the necessary inspiration. Nevertheless, I will give a brief rundown below.

There are three predominant grip setups, the baseball, interlock, and overlap.

I use a baseball grip and have done it for 28-years. In essence, this type of grip features all 10-fingers touching the rubber portion of your golf clubs. Every coach I have ever had has attempted to change this, but the other grips feel uncomfortable.

6-time Open Championship winner Harold Vardon pioneered the overlap grip. It is the most common grip among amateurs and professionals. Right-handers need to wrest their pinky on the knuckle of their left hand. If that is uncomfortable, you can try placing your pinky in the interdigital folds between your left index and middle finger.

Although every golf instruction book recommends this setup, I find that this weakens my hold on the club. That causes me to produce excess movement of the wrists, and I leave the clubface open at impact. Therefore I push or slice every shot.

The final setup is an interlocking grip, which Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods employ. Jack suggested that this setup gave his smaller hands the most control over the club. What you do, is feed your right pinky between your left index and middle finger. As a result, you lock your hands around the club.

Golf-Grip-Interlocking-Overlapping

The most significant point is to ensure you can release the clubhead at the top of the backswing along the intended club path. If your grip is correct, you will generate maximum power and enjoy a long, straight shot.

 

6. Your Golf Ball Is Positioned Incorrectly In Your Stance

The next issue that amateur golfers face is their ball position in their stance. This is tricky, as each club or shot requires a different ball position. Your ball should sit parallel to the inside of your lead heel on tee shots. This gives you ample time to clear your hips and square the face through impact for straight drives.

Next, you place the ball a few inches back from your driver position for shots with fairway woods or hybrids. This trend continues until you have a wedge in hand, where you position the ball marginally back of center.

As you can see, the longer the shaft is, the further forward the ball needs to sit in your stance.

Besides the shaft length, you need to adjust your ball depending on the type of shot you wish to play. When your ball is teed up it should lie forward in your stance. This enables you to strike the ball on your upswing to lift it off the tee.

Furthermore, when you place the ball back in your stance, you strike it at a steep angle of attack. This causes you to deloft the clubface and launch the ball low. You also set the ball back in your stance if you wish to draw the ball. Lastly, a forward ball setup is the best way to induce a fade.

 

7. You Don’t Strategize

Struggling golfers have a tendency to walk up to the ball and whack it. They do not think about the layout of the hole, their next shot, and the best way to make par.

Take your time to examine the layout and the conditions. Which side of the hole gives you the easiest route to the flag? Which direction is the wind blowing? By thinking about these questions, you can lower your scores by putting yourself in a prime position.

Even if you do not hit your target, you can miss in a safe area that still gives you a shot at the flag.

 

8. You Have No Pre-Shot Routine

A pre-shot routine is what separates superior golfers from the rest is a pre-shot routine. Many amateurs do not get into a rhythm before their shot, leading to inconsistent results. It brings order to your mind and encourages structure from your practice swing to impact.

Employing a pre-shot routine gives you a moment to clear your mind and focus on executing your task. A practice swing is necessary to help you identify if you are aligned correctly. You can clearly see if you are on track to strike the ball cleanly with a square clubface. If not, reset and repeat the routine.

You cannot expect to achieve consistent results from tee to green if you do not undergo the same process before each shot.

 

9. Your Short Game Is Your Worst Nightmare

We have a guide dedicated to short game tips and drills that will improve your up and down record. So, I will be brief on this topic. If you cannot chip and putt, you are doomed. That is where it counts.

I suggest spending more time on the practice green mastering your short game before you try to bomb your drives like Bryson DeChambeau. Throughout my golfing journey, I have suffered an erratic long game, which forced me to master my chipping and putting.

Learn how to read the break of the greens and understand different grass grains. In addition, work on your flop, pitch, and chip shots, to get up and down. Finally, work on your putting touch to eliminate 3-putts and reduce bogies.

 

10. You’re More Concerned With Distance Than Accuracy

Every golfer longs for more distance. How they try and achieve it is the real issue. For starters, these golfers purchase expensive equipment, hoping that it is a magical cure.

Next, they force their swing to increase velocity but impact their rhythm, tempo, and smash factor. The unfortunate result is a loss of distance and accuracy. Effectively, a lose-lose scenario.

My solution to this is shortening your swing, which is how I currently operate. Yes, I lose distance compared to a full swing out of the sweet spot. However, I am hitting more fairways and greens in regulation than ever.

Therefore, if your full swing is causing your ball to fly all over the golf course, think about shortening it.

 

Further Reading: Focus on the fundamentals of the game by reviewing our 10 tips to help you break 100.

 

Matt Stevens

Matt Callcott-Stevens started playing golf at the age of 4 when Rory Sabattini’s father put a 7-iron and putter in his hand. He has experienced all the highs and lows the game can throw at you and has now settled down as a professional golf writer. He holds a Postgraduate in Sports Marketing and has played golf for 28 years.



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